How do I get rid of shame that
Seeps into every pore
How do I believe when they say
It wasn’t your fault
How do I not blame myself
For even taking your call
How do I stay the same when I’m so appalled?
How do I find the will to try
To stay alive at all
How do I stop crying
Tears of anger
And humiliation
That one man was able
To overpower me despite
Making clear my situation
No sexual touching
I said I didn’t believe you
Could be after
Just one thing
Now I see men on the street I feel fear
Disgust
I could not fight off your lust
How will I ever again
How can I trust?
The ground shakes and sinks beneath my feet
So often I can’t find the will to eat
It was last year I last had quality sleep
And yet his friends protect him
Til the end
Police are harsh abrupt and suspicious of my every
Word
And fail to follow leads that could end in one guy doing bird
Stupidest thing you ever heard
The idea a man should take responsibility for doing his worst
He perpetrated from hell this hurt
All of his internal dirt
He flushed upon me
And into me
Without a second thought
He planned it all to his last move
Catch in me unawares
I screamed in pain
He didn’t care
He took hold of me at my sweetest most vulnerable right in there
I should have recognised his penetrating stare
Pressed his way
Into my house
And took everything
Everything
I really thought he wouldn’t dare
before introducing himself as someone who did
How now do I still live
How now do I still sing
Not like a caged bird
a human being
How?

©GS
🦋