Who Is On Trial?

Who Is On Trial?

Who is on trial really?

Who is it being interrogated

Put through fire

Whose background being scrutinised

Whose records being dredged?

Whose behaviour is under the spotlight?

Who is being called a liar?

Whose bar elevated higher and higher

Where are the perpetrators?

Where did they run

While the girl who reported them

never sees the sun

She hides her eyes

and looks to the ground

she is made to feel shame

while they get on with their day then

hit the town

Nobody asked them

to justify their actions

nobody checked their

medical notes since

they were three

Nobody asked them did

they hate men really?

Who is on trial really?

Who can’t sleep

since that night

who weeps for hours

and sees no end

in sight

whose relationships

were tested

to breaking point

and then some

Who never goes out


At least jail time

you know


when you get out

Not only me,

my partner

my friends

our life as we knew it came to an end

we don’t have holidays

we don’t have weekends

we don’t have restful nights

we don’t sleep

we don’t get time out

we don’t get

not to fight

we don’t get to

see the light

we don’t get to do

nine to five

we don’t get to clock off at night

we long ago

lost our appetite

we don’t breathe easy

we hold on tight

and every time

consider letting go

of life

we wonder

what will be left of us


Sometimes I Don’t Feel Like Talking

Sometimes I Don’t Feel Like Talking

Sometimes I don’t feel like talking
Sometimes I wanna be quiet
I’m not hostile
Because I didn’t smile
Touch me when I don’t want
That is hostile
Impose upon me when
I said no
That is hostile
I try to defend myself
You say I’m rude
You even say it’s abuse
Yet all those things
Man did:
You excuse
He said she consented
It must be true

Did you ask me
What I wanted
It’s my body
I said no
I said no
I said no
Put me under duress
Then say I accept
I didn’t
You didn’t read me my rights
I had no counsel
No time
Nobody to describe my plight
No way to understand
How frightened
How terrorised
How unable to move
Or take flight

They told me
to make my statement
lying down
Because of the pain
Of the injuries
He caused to my body
I could not sit up
I could barely speak
Yet you say that
Is normality
I am so full of grief
Sometimes I don’t want to eat
I forgot for weeks
The first month
I survived on coffee
I could not sleep
I lay on the floor
Where I would have been
At his feet
I could not disrobe
As I could not bear
To touch my own body

A policeman called
He yelled at me
I was on the floor
It was just after dawn
He yells
Give me your evidence!
If you have any

I wept
I can’t
It hurts to speak
I am on the floor
I’ve been here
All night
Crying since five
I can’t think straight
I am too weak
I am in pain
I can’t
He shouts


Are you going to co- operate?
Do you want us to investigate?
We listened to you for FOUR HOURS you took FOUR HOURS on video
Nobody takes FOUR HOURS!

I was silent
he said
I’m not going to allow you to give any more evidence
It is finished
We have enough
For us
I know this means
Enough to shut you up
To stuff you up
To let the rapist off
He yells again
We are talking to HIS friends
He says he has more to Show us
I says what?
He goads
“I can’t tell you that…”

Police are like a gang
with the perpetrator
I can’t explain
This terror

I have no more breath
I try to ring my next appointment
I picked up the phone and all that
Came out were sobs and screams
And tears
I could not speak any more
It was just the hairdresser
He said Oh oh
Call the doctor
I said it’s ok
I’m not ill
Just scared
Just scared
That’s all.
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#AnnaJuliet #GirlSurvivor #RapeSurvivor #BelieveHer #NoMore #StopRape #BreakThe Silence #DontBeSilenced #AbuseSurvivor #WomensLivesMatter #GirlsLivesMatter #PoliceBrutality #InstitutionalMisogyny #EndVictimShaming