Too to

Too to

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Too unstable to be raped
Too quiet to be raped
Too loud to be raped
Too rude to be raped
Too outgoing to be raped
Too beautiful to be raped
Too much of a mess to be raped
Now that she has been raped
I mean who would anyway?
Look at the state

Too full of tears
And back ache to be raped
I mean maybe she was in pain before he raped her
So it can’t be rape

Too much audacity
She reached out to other survivors
Without the support of police

Too polite, happy and looked like she was
getting on fine with the perpetrator to be raped
He played the bass
I was there at the gig that night
He was always alright with me
I am a single mother and he
Worked with old ladies
My mum knew him and
He never gave us any problems
Ok he has dropped pornographic comments
And he is awkward around women he doesn’t know
I don’t know why
He always carried a condom
But he was always allright with me

Oh he has to stop doing that
“ Overriding no “ thing
He is too pushy
Too eager, too over excited
Too immature
Too domineering, with an entitled attitude to women
Too demanding to take no for an answer
You’re a strong woman
Maybe you wouldn’t have minded so much
If you weren’t a strong woman

I am weak now
I stay home with my head bowed
Afraid to go out
Get told I am aggressive That i did shout
Now
Plead and beg for help
But it fell on deaf ears
As I used the wrong tone
Though my voice had died and
It would barely come out
Still I try to speak out
Still I tried to reach out
They said you changed your story
Changed your mind
You told us cuz
It is how you will be defined
If you don’t know your own mind
“How would he reasonably know you weren’t consenting?”
As if rapists were reasonable men
Yh I know you said you were screaming in pain
But tell me,
Describe your underwear again

Can you explain consent law again?
Because it is about will
It is about did you want what he did?
Did you agree to all of it?
Of course not
He knew
He said he knew
He said it’s not nice what I’m doing
Has anyone else been nasty with you
Did someone try to force you before?

Too quiet to rape
Why didn’t you scream for help?
Not just scream in pain
Why are you shouting
Why are you so angry?
Maybe that is the problem
Maybe you hate men
He never had a girlfriend
Not in two decades
But his last one
Was his best mate
Maybe the problem is your race
Too old to rape
The perpetrator was angry
He said you’re quite young
Aren’t you
How old are you
Did you used to be a model
Grabbing my hair too
He said:
Do you know how old I am?
I’ve never known a blonde.

Rape is not a hate crime
It’s just misogyny
Which to save you
Looking in the dictionary
translates as hatred
Of women.

Just to be clear
This is the voice of a policeman
Smirking
He said: Injuries, so what?
What does that prove ?
A man jumping up and down on you
The damage sixteen stone can do
I believe you perceived you weren’t consenting
The suspect said it was all consensual
All the torture
He put your body through
Though you said it was rough and painful
No. I said HE was really rough and
He hurt me.
I am in agony
Please
Let me see a doctor
Please
Please don’t let him near me
I am terrified
I am afraid to go outside
Since that night

Too young to know better
Too sexy to be raped
Too ugly to rape
Too stupid to be rape
Too clever to rape
Too flighty to rape
Too unreliable to rape
Too disabled to rape
Too full of fear to rape
Too flirty to rape
Too potentially mentally ill to rape
If you count the PTSD
She sustained along with her physical injuries
During the rape
No visible injuries
Skeletal bruising goes too deep
Internal bruising and lacerations
Maybe your shower gel was too cheap.
You didn’t let me see a doctor for weeks
Then invent other reasons for my
Injuries

Too boring to rape
Too pretty to be taken seriously
Too intelligent to be raped
Too assertive to be raped
Too outspoken to be raped
Too much of a strong lady to be raped
She didn’t appear distressed
When she was making her complaint
Maybe she was putting on a brave face
But who does that
After rape

Too fat to be raped
Too thin to be raped
Too distracted to be raped
She talked about the same things again and again
With a phenomenal amount of detail
That is not normal
She has always been consistent

Too resistant

Too educated to be raped
Too stupid to be taken seriously
She put herself at risk
She asked for it
He injured her
But she wanted it
She wasn’t clear
She was too clear
She inflamed his temper
She fell asleep during the movie
She didn’t make him feel chemistry
She
She
Never he
Stop blaming the victim
Stop the shaming
It is you who should be ashamed
This is not a game
It is a crime
The perpetrator carried on
Despite her refusal
He wasn’t blind to
Her terror
Resistance
Screams
Reluctance
Tears
Pain
Her cowering
Her pleading
He carried on regardless
He didn’t worry about her being
Too anything

©GS
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Rape Committee

Rape Committee

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Try to completely besmirch my name
You think I’m gonna move out
Because I’m so ashamed?
Think I’m gonna give up cos you
Victim blamed?
Raped in my house
You shout
You bully
You accuse
Now refuse to meet
Because “she’s too rude”
You mean too true
Too factual
Too corroborated by evidence
Unlike you
Anything to ensure
The boss is not
Confronted
With the terms of
Your cost
Your gross misconduct
Your appalling
Deplorable
Incompetence
Negligence
And breach of trust
Your failure to meet
Contract
Policy
Morality
Devoid of kindness
Care
Or respect
Now you turn the tables
Accuse the victim of anything
To deflect the spotlight on truth
Ignore evidence and
You have nothing
But other bullies
To cover for you
You don’t care about my injuries
My trauma
My truth
You don’t care about two hours of torture
And multiple assaults
While I was working for you
You don’t care about my written proof

Punish and shaming victims
Instead of doing what you
Are meant to do

That no one can see through
Your callous heartless dangerous games?
The lies were all on your side
The lies because you couldn’t be bothered to try
You, workshy
Who never read a book on trauma ever
Your despicable lies
Your undermining
Your betrayal
Your refusal to see justice
You cover up
Your whitewash
Your never ending bullying of all and any who dissent
Your sugary, slippery nastiness
Your creaming round your own authority
Your crushing of vulnerability
Your vicious wicked lies about me
Your claims of fairness, honesty
Integrity
And transparency
The laughability
Your desperation to crush
All and any who hold reality to you
A mirror for all to see
People walking out of meetings crying
And you still can’t see
You are the root of your own problem
It is not about me

©GS

Authorities that cover up for rapists or sexual predators and shout survivors down and crush our voices, are part of rape culture. The worst ones are usually those that claim to have a remit to help us, but do the opposite. Millions of funds that could be going to support survivors and stop rape, are being wasted on the wages and funds to officials who are misogynistic and have no interest in our safety or supporting us. There are those who have every interest in silencing women who speak out about sexual violence. Particularly cases they would rather do not see the light of day. Especially if they or someone involved are associated with the perpetrator. If the truth came out, the individuals concerned, see a threat to their job, social position or even their freedom, being that perverting the course justice and harassment are criminal offences.

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Sometimes I Don’t Feel Like Talking

Sometimes I Don’t Feel Like Talking

Sometimes I don’t feel like talking
Sometimes I wanna be quiet
I’m not hostile
Because I didn’t smile
Touch me when I don’t want
That is hostile
Impose upon me when
I said no
That is hostile
I try to defend myself
You say I’m rude
Aggressive
You even say it’s abuse
Yet all those things
Man did:
You excuse
He said she consented
It must be true

Did you ask me
What I wanted
It’s my body
I said no
I said no
I said no
Put me under duress
Then say I accept
I didn’t
You didn’t read me my rights
I had no counsel
No time
Nobody to describe my plight
No way to understand
How frightened
How terrorised
How unable to move
Or take flight

They told me
to make my statement
lying down
Because of the pain
Of the injuries
He caused to my body
I could not sit up
I could barely speak
Yet you say that
Is normality
I am so full of grief
Sometimes I don’t want to eat
I forgot for weeks
The first month
I survived on coffee
I could not sleep
I lay on the floor
Where I would have been
At his feet
I could not disrobe
As I could not bear
To touch my own body

A policeman called
He yelled at me
I was on the floor
Crying
It was just after dawn
He yells
I AM NOT INTERESTED
IN YOUR FEELINGS
Give me your evidence!
Now!
If you have any

I wept
No
I can’t
It hurts to speak
I am on the floor
I’ve been here
All night
Crying since five
I can’t think straight
I am too weak
I am in pain
I can’t
He shouts

YES
YOU
CAN

Are you going to co- operate?
Do you want us to investigate?
We listened to you for FOUR HOURS you took FOUR HOURS on video
Nobody takes FOUR HOURS!

I was silent
he said
Right
I’m not going to allow you to give any more evidence
It is finished
We have enough
For us
I know this means
Enough to shut you up
Enough
To stuff you up
Enough
To let the rapist off
He yells again
We are talking to HIS friends
He says he has more to Show us
I says what?
He goads
“I can’t tell you that…”

Police are like a gang
with the perpetrator
I can’t explain
This terror

I have no more breath
I try to ring my next appointment
I picked up the phone and all that
Came out were sobs and screams
And tears
I could not speak any more
It was just the hairdresser
He said Oh oh
Call the doctor
I said it’s ok
I’m not ill
Just scared
Just scared
That’s all.
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©GS
🦋

#AnnaJuliet #GirlSurvivor #RapeSurvivor #BelieveHer #NoMore #StopRape #BreakThe Silence #DontBeSilenced #AbuseSurvivor #WomensLivesMatter #GirlsLivesMatter #PoliceBrutality #InstitutionalMisogyny #EndVictimShaming

Keep Writing

Keep Writing

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We keep writing out the silences
Hoping for a remission
In this constant oppression
Me and my sisters
Report men’s crimes
Like it’s our own confession
Still we live with this daily suppression
Police say things like
You liked him
By your own admission
By your manner and your
Underwear
You gave him permission
I cannot live in this
Derogatory rule
The one that taught me
I am secondary
Since before school
You are a minor
Then you are a female
be good and respectable
This includes
A blind eye to abuse
A woman’s truth
Eradication of my youth
& My right to choose
My right to refuse
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We keep writing out the silences
Speaking out
And paying the price for it
Those saying I am not nice for it
Those saying I am full of lies for it
We have evidence to back up our
Meticulous truth
The brutes have only
Their brutality
Their numbers and
The so -called legal system
in all it’s glory
Their ignorance and dismissal
Of trauma
and injury
Their deliberate blind stupidity
Determination to silence us
no matter the violence
Keep racking up our sufferance
We already extended our tolerance
Beyond all
What normality
Could comprehend
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Rape is a hate crime
Not an I can’t wait crime
It is a crime of anger
Bitterness of entitled men
Who refuse to regard
Certain of us as human
And their sleazeball
Cowardly friends
Who lie for them
and back them.
Desire for
what he thinks
he can’t have

A woman or girl leaves the
Situation distressed
Dishevelled
Feeling like hell
Because of how he,
the perpetrator
treated her.
Who scorned
And unleashed contempt
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Then one day
When a kind man
Held me in his arms
I didn’t know
What it was like
To be with someone
Who respected my no
Who cares enough
It mattered to him
Without an argument
Without coercion,
Rage
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I keep writing the truth on every page

©GS